it’s been a while. did you miss me? ;)
kidding. (but seriously…)
i have kept quiet here intentionally for a couple of reasons. first, because there has been a lot going on in my life over the last few months and the times that i desperately wanted to write i was ridden with emotion and knew i would say something i might regret later. i feel like the last three or so months have been a major crash-course in learning how great God is and how small i am, so i have wanted to just soak in everything i need (and desire!) to learn from others instead of expending my time here.
and second, because i have felt myself getting increasingly agitated with the narcissism associated with things like blogging, twitter, facebook, etc. don’t read me wrong: i fully believe there is a place for all forms of social networking and that it can be used in a very profitable way. there are many blogs i frequent and have been greatly encouraged by. however, at the same time, i fully believe that it breeds narcissism and allows people to easily lead two different lives. one around the people the people they physically are friends with, and the other behind the screen of their computer. almost an oxymoron, i know.
but honestly, because i have been seeing maybe more of the narcissistic side of things lately, i have been wrestling over what i should and shouldn’t say in a very public forum like blogging. obviously i haven’t decided to delete the blog, so that’s a good sign. ;)
but enough of the back story. here’s the jist of what’s been going on in my life since i moved back home, as well as a couple of things that the Lord has been teaching me lately.
life in general
:: i left germany and had a ridiculously embarrassing/terrifying layover in munich. you know those “my-horse-is-bigger-than-your-horse” conversations? well this can top many of them.
:: my family spent christmas in lake tahoe and new years in santa cruz. and tyler has basketball tournaments the weekend before christmas and the weekend after. crazy busy times but i really love the few weeks of christmas break! it was so refreshing to get to spend time as a family and catch up on everything going on in everyone’s lives.
:: laur flew back to california in early january and we drove down to los angeles the same day she got back. poor girl was exhausted because she was on east coast time and had already been traveling all day, but i was so excited to see her finally after only being able to skype/facetime for the previous 4 months. i spent the week with her and the brooks, and went to the truth and life conference at master’s. i didn’t realize how much i missed being around campus until i was back for a couple of days! (and at the same time how glad i was that i was done and could enjoy everything without being a student anymore!)
:: i got a part-time nanny job for some friends of a friend. it has turned out to be a great gig and the Lord was so kind in providing it for me basically right when i moved home. i watch 2 kindergarten-age kids 4 days a week, all afternoon, and help them with their homework, feed them, play with them, etc. they LOVE when i read to them and when we play candyland.
:: casie and the girls came up to sacramento for a week in january just to hang out. we didn’t do anything super special while they were here, but it was so fun just to see them.
:: tyler’s and my birthdays were both in january. it was fun being home (for the first time in 4 years!) for his birthday and for mine! it has been fun getting to know him all over again. he was 11 when i left for college, and he turned 16 this year. let me tell you, MAJOR changes between 11 years old and 16 years old. we get a lot of one on one time which is fun because it’s never been that way before, just the two of us at home.
:: february was mostly uneventful, except for my cousins wedding and an unexpected, literally 24-hr trip down to los angeles. let’s just say, God is really kind and i am so grateful that everyone in this picture is alive and well.
:: i finally got my diploma!! apparently my file had got lost, which was why it has taken a ridiculously long time to get to me. i almost didn’t go talk to the registrar when i was in so cal, but i ended up being really glad i did!
:: spring break (for master’s) started yesterday, so zach and jordan are home for the week! i am so excited that they decided to come home and that we get to hang out for a little bit!
what i’m learning
because this post is already crazy long, i’m going to give the super-abbreviated version here & maybe write more about this later.
like i said at the very beginning, the overarching thing that i have been learning a lot about is how great God is and how little and insignificant I am. different situations over the past couple of months have reminded me over and over again that God is completely sovereign over every moment, every relationship and everything else in my life. my eternity is secure and my hope is in the Lord. i have nothing to fear.
the past three weeks specifically, i have been studying and thinking on the goodness of God in the psalms. God is really good, friends. but the hard thing to swallow is that His goodness is sometimes expressed in ways that don’t seem “good” to us because we look for what we determine to be good.
psalm 119:68 says, "you are good and do good; teach me your statutes."
meditate on it. memorize it. unpack it. this is my prayer.